You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
