can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
