Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize