i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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