butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
