you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
