I wish I could punch you in the face.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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