shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
