Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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