Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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