Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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