It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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