just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
