My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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