OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
