I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
