I like my sex mixed with concussions.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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