ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
