You smell like stripper and shame
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
