Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
