I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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