I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
