in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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