wat bout pragnant strippers??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
