He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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