Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
