Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
