ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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