He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
