STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
