everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
