haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
