he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
