so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
