It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Your dad touched me again.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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