There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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