Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
