Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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