wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she looked like the before picture.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
