She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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