I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
