My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
