"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
