Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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