So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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