I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
