Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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