"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
