we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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