A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
