I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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